Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Please Standby, God

We know You are getting impatient with us Lord. We see it with the increasing ferocity of the hurricanes and the anomalies in social matters --the economy, religion and in quite a few other spheres. But as a Great Nation founded in Your name, we ask that You standby in case this very great nation needs Your help. You know Lord that we have always done right by You. And we still use Your logo on our dollar bills and our nickel plated coins.

We know You are angry with us because of the sub-prime fiasco, where millions of poor pensioners, widows and innocent working men and women got shafted by our famous Wall Street bankers and brokers. But I’m sure You know its now something that is happening world wide. But we assure You, we are definitely on Your side.

We are aware that the literary circle and intellectual class has been writing all kinds of stuff about You being dead and so forth. But that’s the literati, not us. We, the leaders of this nation, still command the greatest military power the world has ever seen. Even in space, our presence is invincible. We believe in You. There are, as You are aware, lots of new powers arising around the world, who threaten us. But we are very capable of taking them on because the proud, the few are still with us. We know that You are with us.

We know You are losing patience with us, Lord. Lately Your franchise has, like some of the fast food franchises, been slipping. We realize that the Sunday attendance at Your fast soul-feed enterprises are not doing too well. And many have decided to close shop because they can’t pay the rent. But much of this has come about because of modernization. There are too many distractions for people and it is hard for them to attend Your franchise services when Hollywood, Disney and Las Vegas are so much more entertaining. I don't wish to tell You what to do Lord, but You could consider updating your franchise model. After all, it has been over 2000 years since it started. Those Fire and Brimstone preachers just aren't what they used to be. I don't like making too many exuses Lord, but there are still some subtle communist influences at work in this country. Our intelligence agencies are working night and day to rout this out. But as You know, with changed laws and lack of enthusiasm by people, we are unable to produce the likes of McCarthy to help us.

We also have to deal with the double threat of those hook-nosed anti-semitic semites. You know who we are talking about, Lord. We don’t want to mention their names, because they might just pull the plug on us. You are aware that they have invested most of their ill-gotten petro-money gains in our fine money-losing financial institutions. Its a good balance --their money going in, ours going out. There is a certain beauty about the symmetry.

But working with them is like playing with a double-edged sword. The one side is money and the other side is religion. They do like Your logo, don’t get us wrong. We mean these guys really love the green stuff that our machines produce night and day. It gives them power to keep their women locked up behind harem doors. Well, that’s their personal choice. But now that they have us in a money dance, they talk to us about their God. They call him Allah. We’re sure you know all about that.

Well they are intimidating our nation. They say that their Allah never dies. He lives forever. They say He created the heavens and the earth in a flash of thought. They say it didn’t take him six days of hard work, so much so, that he had to rest on the seventh day. They say he is alive and is all-knowing. This is scaring the bejesus out of the evangelical community from whom this great nation gets its moral support.

But now some of the evangelicals are getting bogged down in doubt, just when they should be confident. They are saying that it is our immoral behaviour that is causing all these problems for us. They say Katrina was not an anomaly, but a direct result of the violation of Your laws. You know very well we wouldn't do anything to disappoint You, Lord. And You know how much we still trust you. Otherwise our money would not have Your famous logo that says “In God We Trust”.

The real problem makers behind all this are those bankers and brokers who master-minded the take over of Your franchise by creating new financial vehicles. They say the Greenback is not as powerful as their junk bonds, CDOs, ABCPs and other vehicles that have captured the imagination of stock markets all over the world. They claim that the Green Back is old-fashioned and like You, Lord, is dead. Even the glittery yellow hallowed metal from which the exodus Israelis fashioned their Golden Calf is now in hiding, fearing it will be hunted down next.

Please standby, God. Things are looking rough and we may still need You. Walmart says we should not worry, everything will be OK. But we still put our trust in You.

Essay # 374. Written on 12-May-2008.

© 2008 Mahomed Ally Keshavjee. All Rights Reserved.

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